momSo this morning I'm getting prepared to exercise which includes a large glass of ice water within reach at all times. I grab my extra large plastic glass .... walk to the refrigerator to get some crushed ice from the door dispenser.
Moms senior group is having a bake sale this weekend .... she is busy in the kitchen making pie crusts for pies to take to the sale. As I push the door ice dispenser she is chatting away about what kinds of pies she is taking and so on ..... suddenly I realize I'm not getting any ice. Mom is still talking now about someones husband that she got on the phone yesterday that just "would not let her get off the phone." I have readjusted my glass under the dispenser and push again ..... listening ..... attempting to be polite. Once again I realize there is no ice coming out of the dispenser. I stop ..... mom is still chatting away ..... I open the freezer door ..... and CRASH! .... ice falls to the floor everywhere .... as well as all over the inside of the freezer. "What the HELL?" ..... I yell.
Mom .... calm as ever says .... "Oh .... yeah, that has happened to me three times already today." I bite my lip ..... call Petey the ice eating dog ..... grab a broom and dust pan and clean up the mess. Counting to ten ..... practicing my breathing. And off to exercise and work out the tension.
Guess I'm just feeling short today ..... snapped at Dave a few times as well. Tomorrow Dave is ripping the carpet out of our bedroom .... and it is going to be a disaster and I'm so so so not in the mood. I hate these spur of the moment projects that all of a sudden occupy his mind and won't let go till he gets it as least started ..... maybe not finished ..... but at least started ..... which is evident everywhere you go in my house, the shop, the yard ..... I'm feeling like a raving bitch right now ..... weaning myself off my anti-depressants ..... I don't want to be dependent on them anymore.
Not sure what I'm feeling right this moment ..... other than an emptiness ..... that seems overpowering and all embracing .....
Have phones calls I need to make and I can not bring myself to pick up the phone. The energy to deal with any kind of a discussion with anyone has left. I'll force myself to take care of this shit tomorrow. Make a list ..... put it in front of me .... and just DO IT !
Yeah, make a list ....... ****sigh****
Wish it was summer ..... wish it was warm ..... wish I was anywhere but here. Anywhere.
Peace. J.
Moms senior group is having a bake sale this weekend .... she is busy in the kitchen making pie crusts for pies to take to the sale. As I push the door ice dispenser she is chatting away about what kinds of pies she is taking and so on ..... suddenly I realize I'm not getting any ice. Mom is still talking now about someones husband that she got on the phone yesterday that just "would not let her get off the phone." I have readjusted my glass under the dispenser and push again ..... listening ..... attempting to be polite. Once again I realize there is no ice coming out of the dispenser. I stop ..... mom is still chatting away ..... I open the freezer door ..... and CRASH! .... ice falls to the floor everywhere .... as well as all over the inside of the freezer. "What the HELL?" ..... I yell.
Mom .... calm as ever says .... "Oh .... yeah, that has happened to me three times already today." I bite my lip ..... call Petey the ice eating dog ..... grab a broom and dust pan and clean up the mess. Counting to ten ..... practicing my breathing. And off to exercise and work out the tension.
Guess I'm just feeling short today ..... snapped at Dave a few times as well. Tomorrow Dave is ripping the carpet out of our bedroom .... and it is going to be a disaster and I'm so so so not in the mood. I hate these spur of the moment projects that all of a sudden occupy his mind and won't let go till he gets it as least started ..... maybe not finished ..... but at least started ..... which is evident everywhere you go in my house, the shop, the yard ..... I'm feeling like a raving bitch right now ..... weaning myself off my anti-depressants ..... I don't want to be dependent on them anymore.
Not sure what I'm feeling right this moment ..... other than an emptiness ..... that seems overpowering and all embracing .....
Have phones calls I need to make and I can not bring myself to pick up the phone. The energy to deal with any kind of a discussion with anyone has left. I'll force myself to take care of this shit tomorrow. Make a list ..... put it in front of me .... and just DO IT !
Yeah, make a list ....... ****sigh****
Wish it was summer ..... wish it was warm ..... wish I was anywhere but here. Anywhere.
Peace. J.
