I've said it before ..... I'm not a caregiver.  My ability to care for others is tested daily now since mom's surgery.  My temper is on edge ..... my nerves frayed.  I am seriously a walking time bomb.  And if she says one more time "this is just how your mother is" ..... I might just have to let her know what she is.  I tell you I'm losing it.  It does not help that she thinks depression is cured with one pill.  "What is the matter with you anyway?"  "Having a tough day mom .... trying to hang in there."  "Didn't you take your pill?" ..... OMG ...... I have to walk away.  Quickly.

Dave is a good buffer.  But he is working alot lately .... which is good since I'm not.  I'm still having severe anxiety attacks just thinking of leaving the house.  When I do .... I'm sick by the time I get home .... physically ill.  This too shall pass.

On a strange note .....

I recieved my daughter-in-laws pap smear results in the mail yesterday.  We do share the same name.  Dave's son ... who is also named Dave ..... married a Julie.  But we live 500 miles apart.  And for some reason they sent her pap smear results to me.  I've never lived where she lives but was taken to the emergency room at the hospital there last spring .... that's it.  So ...... I called Julie to let her know her pap was normal.  She was as confused as I .... she's been going to the same Dr. for years and has lived on the same property forever ... at least 15+ years.  Bizzare ....

Anyway that's about all for me today .... laundry on the agenda and if I can get myself motivated I really need to clean the bathroom and bedroom.  Mom's at church so it's quite here now .... with Dave at work .... it's mighty peaceful.  A break much needed ....

Hope all have a good day .....

Peace.  J.