iliketiedye @ MindSay

My Husband Is My Hero

Tags:

friend

husband

Watching what Dave went through with his own father, it is beyond me how he can be so strong for another family.

Dave spent yesterday in Redding with his friend John and youngest son Shane. They left at 4:00 am and did not arrive home until about 8:00 pm. It was a long sad day for them both. For Dave the words Alzheimer's / Dementia were a stab in the heart even though we knew all along that this was probably going to be the case.

There will be no coming back for John. He is where he is .... lost in his own head ... never to tell another story again. I just wish we could have known him longer. As I said before he was bigger than life. A true mountain man in every sense of the word. Strong like an ox, smart as a whip, funny and one big old teddy bear. His tough exterior could always be brought down by me .... by brining on a smile when most others could not. I know he thought I was nuts.

Dave is with the ex-wife and younger son now. Trying to get them to understand what is in the future for them. They are already in denial .... having told others that nothing was found yesterday and that he will be fine. This will be hard for Dave and I know tears will be shed trying to get them to understand the realness of all this.

Dave has taken on this responsibility .... out of his love for a friend. No one could of asked for a better person to have on their side. Things will get done. Dave will make sure of that. He will stay with John till the end. And cry rivers when he is no longer with us. As the doctor told Dave and I with his dad .... the doctor told Shane .... he could die tomorrow ..... he could last like this another 20 years. God be kind ... please, don't do that to us or the family. He would not want to drag on like this .... and I promise if he was able to think for himself now .... he would go into the woods and take his own life. I know this .... without a doubt. God, let this be quick.

UPDATE:

Dave just returned from seeing the family. They just don't get it. The youngest son kept looking at Dave saying "yeah, but he's healthy" ..... honestly, thats the scary part. His body is healthy, a much small body than ever before, but still healthy. The part they don't seem to get is his brain is gone .... never to return. I would rather not believe it either .... trust me.

The bottom line to this post is this .... Dave is my hero. Not many would step up as he has to deal with and help take care of this sad state of affairs. I couldn't do it .... I'm way to emotional.

Which brings me to an apology to someone I truly care about ... eyesthebye .... I was not very nice to him yesterday .... my thoughts consumed with wonder about the day for Dave, Shane and John. I hope you can forgive my rudeness.

Back on subject:

To those that care for these types of patients .... and do it with love and understanding .... thanks. To the folks at places like the VA Outpatient Clinic in Redding .... thanks, thanks for making a tough day easier for those who care and those who no longer understand.

John turned 70 this year. Which I found funny because he's been 70 now for at least three years. Dave saw his drivers license and giggled. He was younger than we thought. This man was bound and determined to live to be 100+, so I think he made himself a little older to get there just a bit faster. If he lives to be 100 now its not going to be a good thing. That is unlikely to happen.

I love my husband. I love his compassion for others. I love the man. I'm glad he has strong shoulders .... he's carrying a load.

Peace. J.