workA phone call yesterday morning changed any plans I may have had for the day.
The lady I drive for occasionally had a crown come off a tooth and needed a ride to Yreka ..... and while we are there would you mind if we stopped here there and everywhere? Its easy and good money so I obliged.
Our first stop was at the local drug store where a simple question to me and a smart reply from the clerk started a rant from me that had folks in the store backing up and wishing they had stepped in at a different time.
Now, I'm really not sure why I got so irritated so quickly ..... or why my mouth went off before the brain totally engaged ..... but this particular clerk has a cockiness about her that has always driven me nuts .... even when I waited on her at the restaurant.
Now this clerk also really does not like the woman I drive for and normally will NOT wait on her ..... but she did yesterday ..... so the clerk looks my way while ringing up med's ......
Clerk: What are you doing these days?
Me: Just getting ready to go and live down on the river.
Clerk: Your not working?
Me: No
Clerk: Must be nice.
Me: (getting edgy) Well, its not that I don't want to work, I would love to have a job. But I'm really tired of giving my all to people in this valley just to be fired from just about every job I've had without reason. So I'm done.
Clerk: Thats a REAL MATURE attitude.
Shaking as the words ring in my ears right now .....
Me: "mature attitude?" "mature attitude?" ..... excuse me???? There is no need to get into every foul word that came out of my mouth from that point ..... or the fact that the lady who I drive for reached out and grabbed the back of my shirt fearing that I was going to go over the counter and punch out this woman. I'll let you picture it however you wish. Just know it was ugly.
I walked out the door ..... got into my car and cried ..... and cried the whole way to Yreka. Knowing that I'm a grateful devoted employee to those I have worked for and knowing how I have been treated since moving into this inbred shit hole, (Yes, that phrase did come out yesterday in the drugstore) ..... her words could not of cut deeper.
Is there a possibility that anyone .... even you Jen .... could hate where they live anymore than I? Don't think so. Waking up everyday knowing where I live and the shit heads in it that I will have to encounter just fries me. FRIES ME.
Think I'll go and puke now ..... smoke a bowl to calm the shakes. In a month we should be on the river ..... and it can't come soon enough.
Why other peoples words cut through me so bad sometimes ..... I don't know. But they do ..... and my goal today is to shake those words from my head forever and pray I don't run over the bitch if I see her walking down the road.
Peace. J.
The lady I drive for occasionally had a crown come off a tooth and needed a ride to Yreka ..... and while we are there would you mind if we stopped here there and everywhere? Its easy and good money so I obliged.
Our first stop was at the local drug store where a simple question to me and a smart reply from the clerk started a rant from me that had folks in the store backing up and wishing they had stepped in at a different time.
Now, I'm really not sure why I got so irritated so quickly ..... or why my mouth went off before the brain totally engaged ..... but this particular clerk has a cockiness about her that has always driven me nuts .... even when I waited on her at the restaurant.
Now this clerk also really does not like the woman I drive for and normally will NOT wait on her ..... but she did yesterday ..... so the clerk looks my way while ringing up med's ......
Clerk: What are you doing these days?
Me: Just getting ready to go and live down on the river.
Clerk: Your not working?
Me: No
Clerk: Must be nice.
Me: (getting edgy) Well, its not that I don't want to work, I would love to have a job. But I'm really tired of giving my all to people in this valley just to be fired from just about every job I've had without reason. So I'm done.
Clerk: Thats a REAL MATURE attitude.
Shaking as the words ring in my ears right now .....
Me: "mature attitude?" "mature attitude?" ..... excuse me???? There is no need to get into every foul word that came out of my mouth from that point ..... or the fact that the lady who I drive for reached out and grabbed the back of my shirt fearing that I was going to go over the counter and punch out this woman. I'll let you picture it however you wish. Just know it was ugly.
I walked out the door ..... got into my car and cried ..... and cried the whole way to Yreka. Knowing that I'm a grateful devoted employee to those I have worked for and knowing how I have been treated since moving into this inbred shit hole, (Yes, that phrase did come out yesterday in the drugstore) ..... her words could not of cut deeper.
Is there a possibility that anyone .... even you Jen .... could hate where they live anymore than I? Don't think so. Waking up everyday knowing where I live and the shit heads in it that I will have to encounter just fries me. FRIES ME.
Think I'll go and puke now ..... smoke a bowl to calm the shakes. In a month we should be on the river ..... and it can't come soon enough.
Why other peoples words cut through me so bad sometimes ..... I don't know. But they do ..... and my goal today is to shake those words from my head forever and pray I don't run over the bitch if I see her walking down the road.
Peace. J.
